The comment, "Blog Stage 7", ,http://davetherep.blogspot.com/ contains several interesting topics. It starts to introduce the reader to a group, called "Black Lives Matter", which fight for the african community. Then it talks about Hilary Clinton and her point of view to civil rights and it ends with Donald Trump´s view on diversity.
These topics go well together and in the end I figured what the overall comment was about, diverse political community in Unites States, but I wished that the comment would immediately make it clear to the reader, what the overall topic was about.
A little introduction would have been helpful, or a good title. The facts, that are stated in this comment are well researched, but it would have been helpful to have some quotes to back up these examples.
This comment seems more like a gathering of examples, but it lacks of keeping the main point in focus.
But, the examples are helpful for the reader to understand what is going on in this comment. Also, a well organisation of this article might help to improve it. In the past, I lacked of that in my comments too. This blog of one of my colleagues helped me out a lot. His comments are well written and organised and an interesting read. http://replyusgov.blogspot.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment